Lion Guides


Did you or someone you know drink a little bit too much while partying?

Unfortunately, it is not a given that this somebody will make it to a toilet or trash can. Actually, he or she probably won’t. So what are we left with? Carpets. Hardwood floors. Your furniture. Awesomeness.

Whether it’s you or someone you know doing the vomiting, you’re going to be in a pile of some pretty nasty stuff (figuratively or literally). And from within this pile, there may seem to be no way out. There will always be the stench     Where you should be aiming, ideally.

of the Milano sandwich from a few hours earlier or the Spicy Special consumed maybe a minute before. There will always be some weird discoloration, reminding you of the horror that was several tens of seconds of regurgitation.

Do not despair, young revelers. Not all hope is lost. As any senior or person who has ever dealt with a household pet or small child can tell you, vomit is not forever.

Here’s how:

1. Don’t be a jerk

If you vomited and are still incapacitated, fine, don’t clean it up. If you vomited and are totally fine (Read:rallying), don’t go around saying, “Ohhh weh looking at vomit makes me vomit. I can’t do it.” Well, looking at your vomit makes me angry, so clean it up yourself. But if it’s the first case, the situation is still dire (regarding the vomit, but also make sure the vomiter is OK first) and needs to be dealt with ASAP. Be the first responder and don’t walk away, trying to pull the same “sympathetic vomiting” crap. It’s just code for lazy and selfish. We all vomit sometimes—don’t pretend that you’re above it.

2. Locate the scene of the crime

Ok. Is it on the carpet, furniture, or hardwood floor? Figure that out.

3. Gather appropriate supplies

If it’s on carpet or furniture, you’ll need a lot. Floors, not so much. So—

-Rubber gloves, rags and towels, and absorbent paper towels (a ton) for all situations

-Carpet or furniture:Carpet or fabric cleaner (try to get one that has a brush on the top for scrubbing), disinfectant like Lysol, powder deodorizer (more effective than sprays).

-Wood:cat litter or baking soda, white vinegar

4. Get crackin’

Carpet or furniture:

-Carefully wipe up the solids. Do not push them further into the carpet or fabric. Then it’s all ruined.

-Toss that shit.

-Use a clean rag and cold water to work out (not in!) the remaining vomit.

-Lay down the carpet/fabric cleaner and do whatever the bottle says.

-Use the disinefectant on the area.

-Spread the powder deodorizer over the area. Leave it for however long the container says (overnight, even) and wipe it up with cold water in the morning.

Wood:

-Again, wipe up the solids. Don’t worry about pushing them in—it’s solid wood.

-Lay down the cat litter or baking soda and wait for the remaining liquid to turn solid.

-Wipe that up with a paper towel.

-Mix one part vinegar to three parts water in whatever receptable you’ve got.

-Wipe the floor down with this mixture.

-Wipe the floor with a dry cloth and let air dry.

5. Call Housing

After cleaning up the mess, be sure to call the Hartley Hospitality Desk so that they can send someone in to fully clean the area.

6. Move on

Vomit is not fun, but it happens. You’re a big grown up who can handle it quickly and efficiently. Or at least you sort of can now. Anyway, vomit begone and life to be lived.

 

Parts of this guide were taken from The Lion Archives post, “How to clean up vomit (Yes, really),” written by Samantha Henderson.

You’ve just gotten back to school, the impending semester looms over you the way whipped cream envelops a Serendipity 3 frozen hot chocolate, and you can scarcely hear the word “homework” before wanting to collapse into a pile of mediocre sushi. But, wait! There’s hope–and it arrives in the form of glorious, relatively well-priced, foodie heaven: New York Winter 2016 Restaurant Week.

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Getting ready to pull another all-nighter? You’re probably looking for some tips for how to avoid that late night crash. Luckily for you, The Lion team has compiled this useful guide for the best energy drinks to keep you going and ways to effectively use them. Think we missed something? Let us know by emailing submissions@columbialion.com.

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Gawker has been publishing rankings of everything from Kanye West album tracks to New York private schools. In a similar spirit, here is everything at Columbia, ranked. There is no appeals process, but if we genuinely forgot about something, we’ll insert it into its respective ranking. Comment below if you’d like to see more rankings.

Places to eat around campus (Dining Dollars)

1. Cafe East

2. Uris Deli

3. Carleton Lounge

4. Cafe 212

5. JJ’s Place

6. Ferris Booth

7. John Jay

Places to eat around campus (Flex)

1. Brownie’s (tie)

1. Joe’s (tie)

2. Morton Williams

Places to eat around campus (real money)

1. Community

2. Dig Inn

3. Chipotle

4. Five Guys

5. Tom’s

6. Mel’s

7. Bernheim and Schwartz

8. The Heights

9. Kitchenette

10. Brad’s

11. Deluxe

Dorms (Columbia)

1. East Campus

2. Woodbridge (tie)

2. Hogan (tie)

3. Watt

4. Brownstones (548, ZBT, frats, SIC, etc.)

5. Broadway

6. John Jay (tie)

6. Carman (tie)

7. Ruggles

8. Furnald

9. Wallach

10. Schapiro

11. Claremont (tie)

11. River (tie)

12. Hartley

13. Wien

14. Harmony

15. Nussbaum

16. McBain

Club Sports

1. Ski (tie)

1. Rugby (tie)

2. Men’s lacrosse

3. Water polo

4. Cycling

5. Hockey

6. Ultimate frisbee

(There are a lot, so we’ll leave it at that.)

Social media apps

1. Yik Yak

2. Twitter

3. Snapchat

4. Instagram

5. Bored@Butler

6. Facebook

Music Festivals

1. Bacchanal

2. WBARBQ

3. Whatever NYU has

Phys ed electives

1. Self-paced running (tie)

1. Strength training, non-8:40 AM (tie)

1. Yoga (tie)

2. Ski

3. Hiking

4-6. Sailing/kayaking/canoeing

[…]

99. Strength training, 8:40 AM

100. Beginning lap swim

Frats

You don’t get this one.

Majors (Columbia College)

1. Computer Science (tie)

1. Physics (tie)

2. Biology

3. History

4. Philosophy

5. Chemistry

6. Classics

7. Math

8. Anthropology

9. Statistics

10. Economics

11. Political Science

12. English

(There are others, but we went with the most popular ones.)

CCs

1. Columbia College

2. Contemporary Civilization

3. The email CC

Core classes

1. Art Hum

2. Lit Hum, 2nd semester

3. CC, 2nd semester

4. Lit Hum, 1st semeter

5. Music Hum

6. CC, 1st semester

7. Frontiers of Science

8. University Writing

Bars (currently in operation)

1. Lion’s Head

2. Village Pourhouse

3. The Heights

4. Bernheim & Schwartz

5. 1020

6. Tara Hill (nee Cannon’s)

7. Mel’s

8. The Abbey

9. Domain

Libraries

1. NoCo

2. Lehman (SIPA)

3. Starr East Asian Library

4. Avery

5. Lehman (Barnard)

6. Butler

7. Uris

Investment banks

1. The one you wanted but didn’t get into

2. The one whose campus recruiting rep you gave your resume to

3. The one your dad works at

4. The one your frat alums work at

5. The one you follow in LinkedIn

6. The one you’ll eventually work at

Campus publications

1. HerCampus Barnard (tie)

1. Specsucks (tie)

2. Barnard Bulletin

3. Columbia College Today

4. Harvard Lampoon

5. The Columbia Daily Spectator: 60 Years of Front Pages

6. A collection of groupons

7. A blank InDesign page

Lion Guides: Literature Humanities Review

We here at the Lion understand that this is a hectic week for you leading up to Fall Break. Two or three midterms? A couple of papers? We truly feel your struggle. Thus, to take a little load off your shoulders and maybe grant you an extra hour or so of sleep, we took the liberty of compiling various study guides filled with A1 content. Hopefully, this will make your cramming a breeze (like the one Iphigenia was sacrificed for). Good luck: may the odds be ever in your favor.

The Lion team would like to credit Ryan Mandelbaum for putting together this comprehensive review guide.

 

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Looking over your schedule, but confused as to where your class is? To make the process of finding your classes easier, check out the guide below for decoding Columbia’s building abbreviations.

Refer to this map provided by the University for directions to each academic building.

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Since its your first day experiencing a Columbia dining hall, namely the lack of space in Ferris, The Lion has compiled a guide to the dining halls. Take a peak into the many dining options that Columbia has to offer. 

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It’s time for the start of another semester of classes here at Columbia. As classes begin, we at The Lion have decided to share some of our best sources for getting cheaper textbooks.

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Welcome to Columbia, new students! As you get acclimated to this new environment, here’s a guide to some of the acronyms used here on campus.

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Looking to take advantage of all the museums New York has to offer? Refer to our list of some of the city’s best museums. Think we’re missing something? Email us about it by sending your suggestions to submissions@columbialion.com

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