Interested in making the next billion dollar app, but don’t have a good idea yet? To help you get started, The Lion team sat down and came up with a few ideas for start-up websites for the Columbia community that would generate a lot of hits and a lot of general happiness.
If you make one of these sites a reality, let us know by commenting below or emailing firstname.lastname@example.org.
Alright, let’s be honest – how many times have you thought, “I really wish Starbucks/Koronet’s/Chipotle/Absolute could deliver food to my door?” Well, with ColumbiaDelivers, your wish would become a reality. You’d pay a ColumbiaDelivers employee to run and get your food for you. In addition, the service would only hire Columbia students – that way, you could get food ACTUALLY delivered to your door. None of that “meet me outside my dorm” crap. None of that “I literally gave you my address, the name of the residence hall, my exact GPS coordinates, and an iPhone map with turn-by-turn directions to my building and you still couldn’t find me?” nonsense. You pay from your dorm room, you get food delivered to your door, and the delivery person gets paid. Everyone’s happy!
Flyering is an archaic practice that is too widely practiced on this campus. Why do clubs still insist on wrecking their members’ print quotas and the printers around campus to print hundreds of flyers that ultimately no one will care about? ColumbiaFlyers brings this practice to the modern age – it allows clubs to upload their flyers to a website that ultimately no one will care about. Does the end result change? No. But is the process satisfyingly more modern? Hell yes.
How many people have used and experienced issues with sites like GrubHub and Seamless? Obviously, the answer is everyone. The reason for this is that those sites aren’t optimized for the Columbia experience. ColumbiaIsHungry is a website designed to get rid of all those issues. It will have all the restaurants that deliver to Columbia listed with accurate wait times (15-30 minutes? Add “1 hour and” to the start of that and you’re getting on the right track) and will provide a smooth interface through which you can satisfy your munchies. The ColumbiaIsHungry team will also be responsible for trying their hardest to work out special student deals and promos available only through the website to Columbia students. The Lion has already had success with finding a solution to our food problems – this could be the next Sandwich Ambassador Initiative.
There are certainly social issues that should be dealt with on Columbia’s campus. Calling these things “problematic” and walking away, though, is certainly not going to help anything. So for all those students committed to pointing out the problematic, for incorrectly characterizing things as microagressions, and for anyone who literally does not get that empty criticism doesn’t accomplish anything – this one’s for you. Simply upload your concern to IAmAtColumbiaAndIWouldLikeToReportSomethingProblematic, and your comment will vanish into the depths of the Internet, just like it was meant to. Alternatively, you could write a post for The Lion voicing a non-empty criticism of a real campus issue!
You know the feeling. You’ve been sitting in Lit Hum for an hour and a half and you haven’t come up with jack shit. Your professor keeps track of participation. You need to say something profound to get your points for the day. Why not sell out? For a small fee, you can contract someone who knows more about that book you didn’t read than you do to come up with an insightful comment that will add to any class discussion! For anyone skeptical of this website’s purpose – namely, people who think, “Oh, you’re missing the point of the Core!” – you’re so wrong. This is the exact balance between literature and capitalism that our school strives to create.
Any other startup ideas? Throw them in the comments below, or email a piece about your idea to email@example.com